Couples counselling:​

Often couples seek counselling when they are suffering deep wounds and negative patterns in the relationship. One or both may feel unable to open up to the other, may feel that their partner is not receptive, doesn’t listen, even doesn’t care.  The resulting loneliness, uncertainty and insecurity undermines the sense of safety and trust required not only for a person’s well-being but for a relationship to thrive, flourish and deepen.

 

As an experienced couples therapist, my goal is to create safety and

trust with each partner, to reconnect couples in this safe,

trusting environment in order to allow unexpressed and unresolved

feelings to be uncovered, heard, understood and validated.  The series

of steps in this approach fall into three stages:

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• de-escalation of conflict and an understanding of the underlying

emotions relating to attachment beneath;

• changing interaction patterns – voicing attachment needs and

​ deep emotions and hearing those same needs and feelings from the

partner;

• consolidation and integration of what has been understood and the new skills and interactions.

 

I combine my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) and Relational Life Therapy(RLT). Both approaches draw on psychotherapy, family systems, feminist therapy, trauma work, and neurobiology to create a highly effective way of addressing not only what is at the heart of a couple's relationship issues but also how to create positive and lasting change.  ​​Both EFT  and RLT are well document, empirically validated approaches based on detailed scientific studies of adult love, attachment and bonding in couples.

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Discernment Counselling

Discernment counselling is a short-term, 1 to 5 session program designed for couples on the brink of separation or divorce who have "mixed agendas" - one partner is leaning out of the relationship, the other is leaning in. This approach offers a structured, time-limited process that contains some of the uncertainty and helps find clarity. The unsure partner is not asked to enter therapy prematurely, and the partner who wants to stay is not left in open-ended tension. Both begin with a shared understanding that the aim is to determine whether further work together is possible and hold in mind three options: to end their relationship, maintain the status quo, or commit to a period of intensive couples therapy.

If you wish to discuss the option of having discernment counselling for your relationship, please contact me for a no-obligation chat or email/use the contact form on the relevant page here to request more information or schedule the first session. 

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